You’re spinning your wheels
Trying to figure it out in your mind….
Yet again
You…
Over give
Over function
Over compromise
Leave yourself
& convince yourself it’s all good
When deep down
You taste the whisper
Of something being off
You put them on a pedestal
Yearn, ache, turn on
For the fantasy
Of them
The drug of..almost-available
Makes you weak in the knees
You’re waiting for the next hit of validation
That moment they message you
You take one sniff of that validation
And you’re back in the wheel of “possibility”
You’re hooked on the fantasy of what could be
Taking crumbs and turning them into a all you can eat buffet
Why…?
Familiarity baby..
You learned to love the chase
Cortisol & dopamine on speed dial
All while believing they’re your “soulmate”
You learned you need to earn love
And if you could just get it just right…
Then that fantasy you’re holding out for would come to life
But you see
The one beneath all of it
The one beneath the hunger, longing, obsession, and ache
Is waiting for you
To see her
Ground her
& Love her
Home
The familiar grief you’ve spun out in for how many people now who have turned out to be a fantasy once the illusion popped...is getting old to you now
You see the pattern
This LIMERANCE is the distraction
It fills the hole you have yet to learn how to truly, deeply, inhabit
The God-sized hole
Unwinding LIMERANCE
Is a homecoming
In the deepest way you’ve ever known
